Nothing is going as planned. We have no control over anything. There is hurt, disappointment, arguing and debating. There is uncertainty. There is lack of understanding. There is negativity around us. We feel hopeless and discouraged. We feel like we are on our own island and misunderstood.
It is in these moments; we question how will things ever improve? It is easy to feel the gloom and doom of it all. It is easy to fall down the rabbit hole of negativity. It is much harder to pick yourself up and look at things from a different perspective. It hard to see good when so much feels impossible.
I have felt all the above at times points in my life including going through a divorce, with challenges as a special needs mom and conflicts with people that I love. If you can relate to these feelings, then this is the time to stop looking outside of yourself for answers. It is a time to withdraw (for just a moment) from the things or people or situations that are making you doubt or question or feel negativity. It is time to get back to your core. Reflect on who you are and what you stand for and the kind of person you want to be. Understand how you want others to feel after being around you but more importantly how do YOU feel about spending time with yourself?
Think about the kind of energy are you bringing in your own life, your family’s life and to others around you. Put thought and energy into improving yourself and your life. Take purposeful action in making change and be intentional with the way you live your life. When you do this, you automatically inspire others. Have you ever noticed someone who has lost weight after exercising and changing their diet and they seem so happy and motivated? They look like they are beaming with happiness and excitement about their life and future. They seem to be glowing from pride. When they share their before and after pictures, other people begin to feel inspired and happy. They want to know what they are doing and how they did it. We are feeding off that positive energy.
Think about the message or the energy you are putting out into the world. How can you share with those around you so they feel that positive energy? Every word you say or even every social media post you make represents who you are as a person. If someone was only allowed to explain who you are based on your social media page, how would you be described? Does this represent you? Are you empathetic to other people? Are these posts you would want people to read after you are no longer here? I was once told that someone viewed their social media as a scrapbook of their life. What does your scrapbook say about you?
I think we forget that we are more in control of our lives, emotions, and circumstances than we realize. We have the power to change our thoughts. We have the power build ourselves up and others around us. We can raise the energy and vibrancy and joy in our life!
When I think about my own challenges as a special needs mom, I typically try to allow myself to work through the emotions. I acknowledge my feelings about my situation and at times, I even allow myself to feel sorry for myself. To think thoughts like “This isn’t fair or I wish I didn’t have to deal with this.”
Then, I make the decision to move forward. I don’t want to stay in this space long but long enough to allow myself to feel what I need to feel and acknowledge the impact that it has on me. But staying in negative space for to long doesn’t help me move forward with my life or make me feel good. So, I pick myself up, brush myself off, and take that moment away from it all to reflect on myself and what I need to do to bring more positivity and happiness and confidence into my life. I push myself to shake it off and change the way I am looking at things and I challenge myself to be a better person and to figure out a way to make things happen. I recognize that no one is going to “fix it” for me.
I want to encourage you to think about your current challenges and struggles and how you are dealing with them. Reflect on your attitude and energy and ask yourself how you can improve it. It takes a simple mental shift. It takes intention. Despite what it feels like, it IS possible. You just have to believe it.
Our life is what we make of it. We decide. What will you decide?
If you are a special needs mom who wants more support on the unique journey of special needs motherhood, please join my Facebook group “Self Love for Special Needs Moms” to connect with other special needs moms.